Friday, 21 November 2008

Max Baldwin

In the first of what may or may not turn out to be an irregular weekly slot, we interview family members of famous people.

This week: Max Baldwin.
Alec Baldwin, not necessarily drunk
Max Baldwin requires no introduction. Sorry, scratch that: Alec Baldwin requires no introduction. Max Baldwin on the other hand requires a lot of introduction. Max is the youngest and newest member of the outrageously lucky talented Baldwin acting dynasty, and has set his sights on breaking the family trend and becoming a fabulously successful actor, instead of another Baldwin who gets gigs because he's called Baldwin.

Noshow: Welcome, Max Baldwin.

Max Baldwin:
Hi and welcome, I'm Max Baldwin.

Noshow: Yes. Thank you. So, we understand that you're starring in a new film Buffalo on a Turnpike, which is out on DVD this week, is that right?

Max Baldwin: Yes, that's right, and I'm very excited because this is the very first English language film that has ever entirely by-passed the cinema, rental stores and shops, and gone directly to gas station bargain bins across the US.

No Show: Buffalo on a Turnpike - or BOAT as the fanboys are calling it - is the story of an obese cop who has to hunt down a serial jaywalker, while at the same time dealing with own weight and sweat issues. Why is it called Buffalo on a Turnpike then?

Max Badwin: Well, the company behind the production, Turnpike Motorcycles, decided that it wanted to have a dramatic title to catch people's attention.

No Show:
Catch their attention while buying gas, you mean?

Max Baldwin:
Indeed, and I agreed with them: if you watch to catch flies, you have to use a little honey after all. Am I right?

No Show: Why would anyone want to catch flies...?

Max Baldwin: And after Stephen had so much success with Shark in Venice and Daniel was nearly Oscar nominated for Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell and William, not Billy, knocked it out of the park with his performance in American Fork, I thought this title had possibilities.

No Show: Kill flies, sure. But catch them? That's just weird.

Max Baldwin: I also felt I had to show a different side to the Baldwins. Everyone knows us as super-talented, politically active guys with marriage, weight, alcohol and drug issues, but actually we're just regular guys who like to kick back and watch a game with a brewski. And some coke. And a few choice hookers we know. But only if the wife's away. And that's why I made Buffalo. For all the regular guys.

No Show: And for Turnpike Motorcycles. Correct me if I'm wrong - and I admit, this is just my expert opinion - but isn't this some sort of promotional film for Turnpike Motorcycles?

Max Baldwin: No no no no, they're the producers, that's all. We were given total creative freedom. They just put up the money. And all of their top of the line Turnpike Motorcycles, including the Powerhouse SX5000 which is now available with convenient financing options at Turnpike Motorcycles outlet near you.

No Show: And what about Alec? He's kind of... how can we put this... inexplicably successful right? Is he impressed by your work?

Max: Alec is successful? Really? Well, he can't successfully spell Alex, can he? I mean that's his name. He's done ok but you can't really compare him with Billy, sorry, William, Stevie, sorry Stephen and whatshisname, sorry Daniel. They're the real go getters. But to answer your question: Alec personally called me up himself when he heard about my successful entry into the gas station DVD record books and said "Nice one y'little pig face". So I'd guess you could say he's impressed.

No Show: Or drunk. And mistakenly calling you instead of his daughter.

Max Baldwin: Yes. That is a possibility. But I prefer to think of it as validation and approval from one Baldwin to another.

No Show:
That's all the time we have for this week's semi-irregular celebrity interview. Our thanks to Max Baldwin for his time.

Max Baldwin:
And to Turnpike Motorcycles.

Noshow: ...

Max Baldwin: They're awesome. Or I'm not Alex Baldwin.

You're an idiot. Goodnight from The No Show.

Max Baldwin: Welcome and goodbye! I'm Max Baldwin!

The pic of the Baldwin is from Wikimedia by David Shankbone under the Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

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