Monday, 3 November 2008

ALBUM REVIEW: Soul by Seal

UK release: 10 November

And so, Seal finally reveals that he is Dr Seuss.

Soul (by Seal) will showcase Seal's world renowned ability to swap or change the letters in his name to make song titles. Tracks include: Leas, Eels, Ales, Elas, Sale, Soul, Saul, Zeal, Teal, Sear, Sour, Veal (his pro-meat song - insert your own Heidi Klum (bucket) gag here), Keel (his tribute to musical legend Howard (Keel, not the bloke in Take That) and Vole (a song about how much he hates moles and how much he loves voles).

Seal had several hits in the Triassic period with Crazy, Kiss from a Rose and Crazy. Somehow, he has managed to make a very good living and marry a supermodel on the basis of these two (three) songs. He also sang on Adamski's Killer before making it his own song and calling it Seal Killer - after several Canadian seal killers he met on one of his many trips to Antarctica - where he is never mistaken for a seal because he's not white and fluffy. He is, however, a killer with the seal ladies (see picture).

Soul (by Seal) is a real return to form for the pock-marked prince of pompous pedestrian phiddle phaddle; it's an album of warm bedroom grooves that Mick Hucknall or Michael Bolton would be rightfully proud of. Others who would be proud to have made this album include Les Dennis and anyone who's ever had a tracheotomy.

Just as Nutbush City Limits contains no trace of Nuts and is thus fine of nut allergics (the weak-willed freaks), Soul contains no trace of soul so should be fine for anyone with a soul allergy such as Mick Hucknall, Gok Wan, Phish (the American band, funnily enough, is also allergic to Fish, him out of Marillion), Craig David, Sarah Jessica Parker and the cast of Peep Show.

Proof that Seal may well be a seal comes in the form of this album which contains his usual trademarked honks and howls as well as this tidbit of information: Seal proposed to German supermodel Heidi Klum on 24 December 2004 at 14,000 ft, in an igloo on a glacier in Whistler, British Columbia.[Source: Everywhere].

Soul is out soon and will be avoided by most.

Shatner scale: Miss Congeniality
Must listen: Maybe

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