FILM REVIEW: "Klaatu Banana Nikto!" (aka The Day Keanu Stood Still)

UK release date: 12 December
Starring: A well-dressed plank of wood Keanu Reeves

Instead of reviewing The Day the Earth Stood Still, which we all know will be an action- and CGI-packed remake of a much better film completely ruined by the thoroughly wooden acting skills of one Keanu Reeves (dude, go back to playing brain dead Bill & Ted types, MUCH funnier), we at The No Show have decided instead to feature the following recipe for Banana Muffins. Because, at the end of the day, which would you prefer: disappointment as Keanu fails yet again to convince anyone that he can do anything except stand still and look earnest while not doing much of anything at all on screen? Or a batch of delicious banana muffins, fresh out of the oven (yum yum)? I know which one I'd choose.

KLAATU BARADA NIKTO BANANA MUFFINS

Dry ingredients

280g self raising flour*
110g unrefined caster sugar
1 tsp bicarb soda
pinch of salt

Wet ingredients

3 ripe bananas
half tsp vanilla essence
90ml milk
90ml veg oil
1 egg

Topping
75g packed brown sugar
15g all-purpose flour
1 tbsp ground cinnamon (or according to taste)
15g butter (COLD)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lightly grease 10 muffin cups, or line with muffin papers.

Mix all the dry ingredients together in a big bowl.

Put all other ingredients in a food processor and wizz until liquidised. If you don't have a processor mash bananas well with a fork and mix with other wet ingredients.

Pour wet mix into flour mix and fold in with a spoon until combined (don't overmix).

For the topping

In a small bowl, mix together brown sugar, 2 tablespoons flour and cinnamon. Cut in 1 tablespoon butter until mixture resembles coarse cornmeal. Sprinkle topping over muffins (before you bake).

Or, if you have a processor, put everything in and whizz until mix resembles breadcrumbs

Bake in preheated oven for 18 to 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the centre of a muffin comes out clean.

*Mixture shouldn't be too runny - if need be, add extra flour.

Best. Klaatu Barada Nikto Banana Muffins. Ever.

And MUCH better than The Day The Earth Stood Still. Promise.